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JOKE BOX
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A Light-Footed Approach to Life...

The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.
When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting. (ha ha ha….)
When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.
To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up. :)
When we are in love, we may be "swept off our feet."
When we don't want to do something, we are said to have "cold feet."
A sensible person "has both feet on the ground."
Sometimes we even "vote with our feet."
It’s important to put “your best foot forward.”
Envelopes
A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. "Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," he said.
Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and he was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wits's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor." The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press -- and Wall Street -- responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.
About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize." This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.
After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. The message said, "Prepare three envelopes". ((ha ha ha….))
What did the boots say to the cowboy?
You ride -- me go on foot.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
The way to a man’s heart?
The way to a man's heart is through his feet (you need a long knife).
How did the chewing gum cross the road?
By sticking to the chicken's foot.
Centipede to physician: "Doc, when my feet hurt, I hurt all over."
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Centipede to pal: "I just hate it when I start the day off on the wrong foot."
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Why did the mother snake buy tennis shoes for her little snake? Because the doctor said he'd grown two feet!
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Mom: Evan, you've got your boots on the wrong feet.
Evan: But mom, these are the only feet I have!
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.
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